Great job Josh! You have a really personal and detailed story which makes it sound quite believable. The one thing that you could improve on is your pathos. I'm not sure what you want the viewers to feel because your tone doesn't change much. But once you fix that, it would be even better!
I thought your story was very interesting! I also think that the baseball posters in the background add to the whole theme (although this was probably unintentional). I agree with Saira that you could work on adding more pathos into the video so the audience can feel more of an emotion.
Great speech. Your story and character are really clear and well developed but I am also missing the Pathos a little bit. I get the lesson the coach is trying to teach, but the emotion they are supposed to feel could be clearer. Also a little more enthusiasm or, like Saira said, change in pitch could also add a lot to your speech.
Josh.... you're beautiful! I enjoyed your story, I was able to picture everything. Now I know whay I should never try and take third base. I didnt what feeling you wanted me to feel during your story.Show me some emotion! <33333333333333333
I agree with your team's comments. You've got a good story here, but you don't yet get into the role of the coach. YOu need to talk like a coach here. You've not written down what your desired ethos and pathos are, so I'm not yet sure what you're aiming for. Please keep this in mind: the goal here is to deliver the ethos and pathos. To do this, you'll need to get more into character. You've got a great story...now bring it alive so we can see you as the coach and so we can feel what you want us to feel.
Great job Josh! You have a really personal and detailed story which makes it sound quite believable. The one thing that you could improve on is your pathos. I'm not sure what you want the viewers to feel because your tone doesn't change much. But once you fix that, it would be even better!
ReplyDeleteI thought your story was very interesting! I also think that the baseball posters in the background add to the whole theme (although this was probably unintentional). I agree with Saira that you could work on adding more pathos into the video so the audience can feel more of an emotion.
ReplyDeleteGreat speech. Your story and character are really clear and well developed but I am also missing the Pathos a little bit. I get the lesson the coach is trying to teach, but the emotion they are supposed to feel could be clearer. Also a little more enthusiasm or, like Saira said, change in pitch could also add a lot to your speech.
ReplyDeleteJosh.... you're beautiful! I enjoyed your story, I was able to picture everything. Now I know whay I should never try and take third base. I didnt what feeling you wanted me to feel during your story.Show me some emotion! <33333333333333333
ReplyDeleteI agree with your team's comments. You've got a good story here, but you don't yet get into the role of the coach. YOu need to talk like a coach here. You've not written down what your desired ethos and pathos are, so I'm not yet sure what you're aiming for. Please keep this in mind: the goal here is to deliver the ethos and pathos. To do this, you'll need to get more into character. You've got a great story...now bring it alive so we can see you as the coach and so we can feel what you want us to feel.
ReplyDelete